We are creatures of chemistry. Perfumes are specially formulated to work with a woman's chemistry to make her smell just a bit more enticing (or richer) than she normally smells. Perfumes are also specially formulated to not work with every woman's individual chemistry. A friend of mine, who isn't 90, swears by Chanel Number 5, and on her, it gives her a hint of authority, power, and class. On me, I smell like that old lady in the pearls and cardigan with whom you hold your breath because it overpowers you when you get trapped in the elevator at Nordstrom.
For years, I wore Calvin Klein's Truth. Men all over the world would tell me that I smelled "sooooo good" (said with a cocked eyebrow and leer, of course). They'd ask what I was wearing, I'd tell them Truth, and they'd be slightly shocked. Calvin Klein perfumes can usually be bought at Target in those plastic cases, after all. But hey, it worked on me, and kept the men around me with tongues exposed. Heck, I would have slathered cabbage behind my ears if it made me smell like that Truth did.
Truth became hard to find, so I switched perfumes. I'd picked up a sample of Prada somewhere along the way, and loved the way it smelled, so I jumped on that train. Now, men and women alike complimented me on my fragrance. All of the sudden I wasn't just appealing to the animal urges of men, but women were finding my scent pleasing as well. And it's fun to say that I'm wearing "Prada" since after all, I will probably never own anything other than the perfume with that label.
I don't take it personally when women say they don't like the way my perfumes smell on them. It's chemical after all, and we can't help it. My mom can wear Tea Rose and it makes her smell classy, elegant, and dressed-up, where I would smell like I fell into a grubby rose garden. Issey Miyake, a smell I love on other people, makes me smell, again, like that old lady in the elevator at Nordstrom.
The man I'm dating smells like satsumas. I'm not sure how other people feel about the way he smells, but just getting near him and smelling that sweet orange smell makes my toes start to curl. If he smells like he's been slaving away in the sun for hours, I enjoy his smell too, but somebody else out there might find his scent repugnant. It's all chemical, and it's all about finding what works with and for you.
A friend of mine was recently dating a woman, who, in his words, had a nasty smell "down there." Again, we are all creatures of chemistry, so I began thinking about the scent he was describing. Everybody has his or her own signature smell, even sans perfume. Like I said before, what smells good to me may be disgusting to others, and vice versa. So the discussion began.
"She just smells bad down there TO YOU," I said.
"No, she smells bad to everyone," he retorted.
"How do you know, have you talked to others who've smelled her there?" I asked.
"No, but how could anyone find that smell attractive?" he came back with.
"But to you she smells disgusting, but to someone else with whom her chemistry meshes, he probably thinks she smells really good," I said.
Since it's hard to talk to someone else and really describe what it is that your nose is picking up and telling to your brain, this conversation was pretty pointless. But chemistry is our friend and ally, although sometimes we don't realize just how important he is.
And yes, that woman my friend had been dating with the "nasty smell"? Just like I knew she would, she has found a man who really really likes the way she smells.
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