The Worst Date Ever

So I just returned from the worst. date. ever. He seemed funny enough over email and right now I just need funny distractions, so I figured, why not. He wanted to meet up early for happy hour, and I thought, great, at least I'll be in bed early. And if he's cool, we can prolong the night for more fun.

He wanted to meet me at the beach, said he'd bring wine. I took a wrong turn and ended up being 15 minutes late. I never heard the end of it. The wine he brought, which he said was "so good" was white and warm. Everything I said he had some messed up retort. He was so negative and cynical, a militant vegetarian who gave me endless shit for ordering actual fish when he took me to a sushi restaurant. It was all I could do not to punch him.

He told me that I would eventually get cancer because of all the meat that I eat, and the fact that I'm "white as a pancake" makes me a candidate for skin cancer. He asked what I did, and I told him, and he claimed that I didn't know what kind of company I worked for, and that it was in fact, a different sort of company (he has no idea what my company is). He made fun of the job that I have, even though I didn't tell him what I actually did. I have never hated anyone so quickly in my life. I tried to leave a couple of times, but he was such an a-hole, that I wanted to see it through and give him a piece of my mind.

He complained throughout the meal about one of his friend's girlfriends, saying that she's socially awkward and that she walked away while he was talking to her. I can totally understand how she felt.

He claims to live by Dolores Park, when in fact, he lives on Market St. by Church. That is NOT by Dolores Park. He had a look on his face the entire date like something smelled. He told me that I had a huge ego, and that he was calling me on my shit and that nobody ever did that to me, so I should appreciate it. I have no idea what the fuck he was talking about. My ego, is in fact, very fragile, and he had no reason to say anything like this to me.

I ended up driving us to a restaurant from the beach because it got too cold, as I had suspected. He thought there was something wrong with me because I never go to the beach, nor as he said, "leave my hipster bubble."

When I dropped him off at his car, my only parting words were, "Thanks for the abuse, asshole," and then I drove off. Sadly, I was bawling on the drive home.

I got home and blocked contact on match.com. He somehow came up as having sent me an email, but luckily, it didn't come up in my inbox.

I know it's a horrible thing to say, but I find him a useless human being, and a waste of space and oxygen.

Sorry to all the good guys out there that I could in fact meet, but I'm done dating for awhile.