Seeking a Plan for the End of the World

I just returned from watching "Seeking a Friend for the End of the World." I wasn't anticipating it to be quite as sad as it was, but I think the sadness was sweet and well tempered with a touch of humor. Steve Carell is very charismatic and believable, particularly because he's not trying to be overly funny, and I could listen to Keira Knightley talk for hours.

I love the concept of the entire world ending in films. I'm happy that the film takes a lighthearted look at the whole thing, because what are we going to do, curl up in a ball and sob and wait for the big bang? No way, people who look like Patton Oswalt are going to bang swimsuit models and party (no offense to Patton Oswalt, funny IS sexy).

It's got me thinking about what I would do if I knew there were only two weeks left for ALL of us on Earth. I'm not thinking about if I had two weeks left to live, there's a big difference. If we all knew that we only had two weeks left on Earth, what would we do?

Here's what I would do, or here's what I would like to do, whether or not the people mentioned want to join in is up to them. They may have their own plans.

First of all, before I leave my sweet little apartment forever, I'd grab all the clothes I know I'll need to stay comfortable for the next couple of weeks (what can I say, I'm practical). I'd grab toiletries too, because, hey, just because the world is about to end, that doesn't mean we need to forget about our hygiene. I want to smell good, look good, and feel good, right up until the end. I'd also grab the phone and a charger because there's going to be a lot of overseas phone calls. Sam, Mel, and Lucy in London would be getting more than a few calls. I'd throw it all in my go bag, and head out, most likely leaving the front door of my apartment wide open. Homeless people, have at it, head in and watch my cable and sleep in a cozy bed for a change. There's not much food in the fridge, but I'm sure you could rustle something up.

I'd throw all this stuff in my car and before leaving town I'd head to the Dogpatch and try and mend a fence. In my dream world ending scenario, he'd come with.

Before I leave town, I'd check in with my people, Phil, Leanne, Chris, Keane, Boris, Dan, Dulci, Jen, et al, and see if they want to come with. They probably have their own plans with their own families, but I'd definitely at least like to tell them I love them and give them one big last hug. And scratch Willie and Chance's rumps one last time.

Once in the car, we'd head up to the Fairbanks compound in the Napa Valley. The place boasts a huge trampoline, a pool, a fancy kid's playset, animals galore, my favorite dog in the world, weapons to play with, and lots of room to roam around. Hopefully the whole family will be there, Acadia, Brady, Jordan, Tanya, Devyn, Nik, Marina, Josh, Tristan, mom, dad. They may come and go because they do have their own people outside the family, but I think spending two weeks based on the family compound would be a really great way to head out of the world. Anybody and everybody is welcome to come by and swim, jump on the trampoline, hang out on the deck, and just be with us.

In the Napa Valley, I'd ransack a few wineries, break into Opus One and Silver Oak. You know, having some tasty wine to cushion the blow would make it all a lot easier. I'd also grab as much meat as possible for nightly barbecues. My dad cooks up some tasty tri-tips.

Because of my obsession with weapons, there'd be an awful lot of shooting. We'd head up into the mountains and do target practice with all the guns and crossbows. There wouldn't be any ammo left.

There'd be music playing always. I'd want to listen to all my favorites. All the time.  

I'd love to take day trips to gorgeous places, back up to Mendocino for a hike in the Redwoods, maybe a drive down to Yosemite to take it all in again, out to the coast for a walk on the beach, head up to the hot springs I've heard so much about but never been to. Each night I'd love to sit on the back deck at my folks' house, just talking and being with the people I love. At the very end, I want to wrap us in the quilt my mom made me when I was younger, and hold onto the one person I love the most.

Don't judge me on my hokeyness, it's MY end of the world scenario. But it also seems like a pretty cool way to live, even if the world doesn't come to a fiery end in two weeks.