Monday, February 25, 2013

I Think I Briefly Talked to the Stupidest Man Alive

  • I am pretty sure I met the most inane person in the world, and normally I wouldn't have given him the time of the day, but I was feeling feisty, and kind of wanted to argue with him a bit, and hey, I had an hour or two to kill. 

    His initial email to me was just a smiley face emoticon. I mean, it's worse even (slightly) than guys who say "Hi how are you?" Normally I would ignore it, but that day I really wanted him to prove his ignorance so that I could put him in his place. I can't believe I spent a couple of hours in this conversation, but truthfully, I kept saying stuff to see how ridiculously he would respond. I genuinely don't think he said anything at all of substance, and it was all rather amusing how he was being so cagey about, well, pretty much everything. 

    I'm completely convinced that his photo was fake (black and white face shot of clearly a male model), and some of his favorite things to do are "SMS" seriously? SMS!? Who puts texting as a favorite activity? 

    I'll let you be the judge of this, but I'm pretty sure he's a stupid douche. Oh yes, his responses are in red. 
     
     :)
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 1:28pm
    oh rawk, how can you just pass by? our scores are thru the roof
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 1:44pm
    Not really sure how to respond to an opener that just says :)
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 1:46pm
    you dont like smiles? you seemed a more chatty type, how sad
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 1:49pm
    Who doesn't like smiles? I'll answer any question you'd like to ask.
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 1:52pm
    I like to be courted
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 1:53pm
    That's not a question. 
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 1:54pm
    I like to be courted?
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 1:54pm
    You want me to do the work? Why should I?
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 1:55pm
    well you could do some, bc you like equality?
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 1:57pm
    And what have you done?
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 1:57pm
    reached out, fielded your volleys, etc
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 1:58pm
    Women like it when you read profiles and start a conversation based on what you've read.
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 1:58pm
    Just a tip.
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:01pm
    so do men xo
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:01pm
    I didn't come looking for you.
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:02pm
    well you came here looking for a good guy, obv you've gotten a sense from my profile/emails whether I might be
    hence you're possibly looking for me, or else wasting your time, and I gave you the benefit of the doubt
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:03pm
    Did you read my profile?
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:03pm
    yep I liked it
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:04pm
    What part?
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:04pm
    most of it, did you like mine?
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:05pm
    Which part in particular?
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:05pm
    so you answer a question with a question
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:06pm
    You don't answer questions at all.
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:07pm
    actually I did, I said 'most of it'
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:07pm
    Um, how are we supposed to start a conversation??
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:08pm
    well I handed you an opening on a platter, and you cant answer whether you even liked my profile
    maybe you havent even read it, which brings up another way you might start a convo
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:09pm
    Again, you would like ME to start it? And the :) was your opening on a platter??
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:10pm
    no...my asking you whether you liked my profile was the platter, and it wouldn't have been you starting, as I'd already answered you (OHMYGOD WHAT??)
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:10pm
    Ok I liked some of your profile.
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:11pm
    what didnt you like
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:11pm
    Some of it.
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:11pm
    sad
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:12pm
    I actually prefer when a conversation is started by the person doing the looking.
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:12pm
    which is both of us
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:13pm
    If I emailed you first, I would have mentioned something I saw in your profile and then asked you a question about it.
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:13pm
    which would be fine, but not necessary
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:14pm
    Haha oh dear. This is funny.
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:14pm
    come cuddle (Seriously, douchebag??)
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:15pm
    You must be used to pretty dumb girls.
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:16pm
    oh quite the opposite
    a response to a :) requires lots more creativity than what you're asking for
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:17pm
    What kinds of responses have you gotten to :) ? I'm so curious.
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:19pm
    well usually I say '?' but with you I could sense you didn't want something so advanced
    the :) usually gets :) back, but some ppl have a meltdown and that is telling
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:20pm
    Some people have a meltdown after you email :) ? How so?
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:20pm
    see above
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:20pm
    "I could sense you didn't want something so advanced."
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:21pm
    Do explain.
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:21pm
    your meltdown xo
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:22pm
    I'm chuckling now, thanks!
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:23pm
    you have much to learn, grasshopper
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:23pm
    Hey, I like a guy who has a brain, knows how to start a conversation. 
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:24pm
    just bc someone knows how to do X, should he do X?
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:25pm
    If X means start a conversation, then yes.
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:25pm
    I differ
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:25pm
    Clearly
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:26pm
    you will be missed
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:27pm
    Well, my loss! Ha. Good luck with this tactic.
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:28pm
    it works, believe me
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:30pm
    Haha! Here's what would have been more interesting: "So you say you're a sapiosexual person. WTF is that?"
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:31pm
    ya mean if you asked me that? that would be uber dumb, I mean you can just google
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:32pm
    Something like that but referencing my profile.
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:33pm
    but it's in mine too
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:34pm
    Ha. Um, duh. It's NOT in my profile, but yours. You should look at my profile and say something similar. That's how conversations start. (I feel like I want to speak sooo slowly in this part to get the point across)
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:36pm
    well it's one way, but if I'm first curious about someone's creativity and versatility, wouldn't I be better off with some arcane (or not arcane) symbol?
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:37pm
    It seems rather effortless on your part.
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:37pm
    why write song and verse before I know whether you care?
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:38pm
    And why should I care?
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:39pm
    if you read my profile and like
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:40pm
    You only have one photo and your profile is rather vague.
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:40pm
    but it's still a lot more than any guy can stuff into an intro email to you
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:42pm
    Not really. I just got a very interesting email from someone asking a specific question about something in my profile, which caused him to tell his own story about it.
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:42pm
    Very intriguing indeed.
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:43pm
    and if you didn't like his profile, he wouldve wasted time
    and this guy may well not care about creativity the way I do
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:44pm
    Wasted a whole minute crafting an email that clearly shows he's interesting?
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:44pm
    it's more than a minute, and there are thousands of ppl on here
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:51pm
    Yea he "wasted" 2 minutes, but I mailed him back so not a waste.
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:52pm
    we probably could use some hate sex
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:54pm
    NOW YOU'VE DONE IT YOU DOUCHE is what I should have said. What I did say: "You are ridiculous."
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:55pm
    I'm going to bet this is a joke and that photo definitely isn't you. 
  • Feb 24, 2013 – 2:56pm
    interesting


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